brynndragon: black leather, purple motorcycle, and bright orange helmet - the height of fashion! (Ankai)
I've been watching the Lefton party response play out, and I keep thinking the same thing over and over: the stink about cops is a derailment of the very necessary discussion of an incredibly serious problem that happened at the party, which is that David Judah Sher, a known rapist/abuser whose MO includes picking up people at parties just like that one, was invited and present for a considerable length of time, certainly long enough to find a new victim who we might not have the ability to warn via the missing stair method.

Can we talk about that part please? Can we think about specific pieces of this problem such as how we can disseminate this sort of information so it actually might get to everyone who needs it*? Can we use our massive brains to come up with strategies for keeping known predators from our parties in the future? (Can we listen to the people who have already done this work and adapt that information for the needs uncovered by this discussion rather than reinvent the wheel?)

Can we actually talk about how to keep our community safer from predators who aren't socially awkward already?!?



* Such as sending a message to your general invite list (and on any relevant social media, e.g. the FB page for an event) that it has come to your attention that this person (include full name and any known nicknames) has a history of committing rape/abuse (and in this case you can include links, preferably with trigger warnings), they are banned from all future parties, and if there was anyone you know was at the party but might not be on the general invite list they should be given this info ASAP. I can't say that this is the best solution, it's just one I came up with after I asked this question to myself - which is why I was these questions to be discussed.
brynndragon: (Yoda and The Doctor)
(from Cause I'm Nerdcore Like That; he uses "nerd" where I'd use "geek", but I assure you, it's not enough of a cultural difference for these problems to not exist in my social circles)

There are long-established portions of the culture that define what a nerd looks like and who is allowed to speak and have their voices heard within nerd circles. The dominant face of the nerd culture is a straight cis white male one. He consumes, he indulges his devotion, he discusses, he creates. When he does, men are the only ones that are full partners in the collection of trivia, media, and information; women are the other half of the planet, the half you have to explain things to. Girlfriends are not supposed to be interested in what you are doing, they are supposed to cower in AWE. They’re supposed to marvel at your ability to work everything from the Linux operating system (yes, we understand, you loaded Ubuntu on a Graphing Calculator. WE ARE NOW SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU AND OH PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR GUILD ON WARCRAFT) to the toaster. They are supposed to listen to your boring, surface-level dissection of comic book dynamics. They are supposed to find your "get back in the kitchen" "jokes" to be just the highest order of wit. If women accidentally have opinions about things, they must submit them to the scrutiny of the male intellect, which has full veto power on everything women think they know about nerd culture. They are quite vicious about defending the things they love from the tiny thoughts of women.

(as an aside, the comments on that article are actually worth reading. I have to start using this one: "In the words of George Takei, "If my partner sucked that hard I’d never leave the mansion.")

(You made it to the bottom of the post! Here's a bonus comic)
brynndragon: (Yoda and The Doctor)
(from Cause I'm Nerdcore Like That; he uses "nerd" where I'd use "geek", but I assure you, it's not enough of a cultural difference for these problems to not exist in my social circles)

There are long-established portions of the culture that define what a nerd looks like and who is allowed to speak and have their voices heard within nerd circles. The dominant face of the nerd culture is a straight cis white male one. He consumes, he indulges his devotion, he discusses, he creates. When he does, men are the only ones that are full partners in the collection of trivia, media, and information; women are the other half of the planet, the half you have to explain things to. Girlfriends are not supposed to be interested in what you are doing, they are supposed to cower in AWE. They’re supposed to marvel at your ability to work everything from the Linux operating system (yes, we understand, you loaded Ubuntu on a Graphing Calculator. WE ARE NOW SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU AND OH PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR GUILD ON WARCRAFT) to the toaster. They are supposed to listen to your boring, surface-level dissection of comic book dynamics. They are supposed to find your "get back in the kitchen" "jokes" to be just the highest order of wit. If women accidentally have opinions about things, they must submit them to the scrutiny of the male intellect, which has full veto power on everything women think they know about nerd culture. They are quite vicious about defending the things they love from the tiny thoughts of women.

(as an aside, the comments on that article are actually worth reading. I have to start using this one: "In the words of George Takei, "If my partner sucked that hard I’d never leave the mansion.")

(You made it to the bottom of the post! Here's a bonus comic)
brynndragon: (beatles love)
via [livejournal.com profile] en_ki and [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina, if the recent XKCD comic brought you down, have a little something to make it better.
brynndragon: (beatles love)
via [livejournal.com profile] en_ki and [livejournal.com profile] the_xtina, if the recent XKCD comic brought you down, have a little something to make it better.
brynndragon: (Default)
Thank you xkcd for talking about an idea which I was willing to suspend disbelief for in order to have a laugh but have heard people actually spout as if it reflected reality. You see, in order to believe that premise you have to sincerely believe that smart people never ever do stupid things when it comes to sex. If you have such a belief, you clearly don't know any smart people (at least, you don't know them well enough ;P).
brynndragon: (Default)
Thank you xkcd for talking about an idea which I was willing to suspend disbelief for in order to have a laugh but have heard people actually spout as if it reflected reality. You see, in order to believe that premise you have to sincerely believe that smart people never ever do stupid things when it comes to sex. If you have such a belief, you clearly don't know any smart people (at least, you don't know them well enough ;P).

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