1. In my CFT, I've been musing about "Cute Girls", who are in some ways the contrapositive of Nice Guys. (Quick summary: they're not cute, though they might think so or act as if other people should think so, and use it to push relationships the same way Nice Guys use Nice.)
2. It's all about the intention. This is the thing that I think a lot of people are "Nice Guys" are missing. Unfortunately, no one bothers to explain this, and in fact culture teaches the opposite. E.g., movies (especially during the 80s!) made it perfectly clear that hanging out with a woman for the express purpose of sleeping with her -- heck, blowing up buildings or shooting people or kidnapping her with the goal of impressing her enough to sleep with you -- was perfectly acceptable, and further more that doing so basically guarantees attraction and sex, unless you're a malformed freak.
So men (especially) got encouraged to take certain actions. But intentions color actions the same way intonation colors speech. The root action -- say, taking the girl out to the movies -- might be the same no matter the intention, but the execution of those actions ends up very different; creepy vs. sweet. Then the less-clueful guy mentally reviews, "Hey, I did just the same things as Bob, why am I getting hit with a harassment suit?", and ends up very confused. This is worse for the rules-based mind, since "obviously" there is a clear set of steps that you follow and then the girl puts out -- which I think is the real correlation with Aspergers' / INTJ / whatever.
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2. It's all about the intention. This is the thing that I think a lot of people are "Nice Guys" are missing. Unfortunately, no one bothers to explain this, and in fact culture teaches the opposite. E.g., movies (especially during the 80s!) made it perfectly clear that hanging out with a woman for the express purpose of sleeping with her -- heck, blowing up buildings or shooting people or kidnapping her with the goal of impressing her enough to sleep with you -- was perfectly acceptable, and further more that doing so basically guarantees attraction and sex, unless you're a malformed freak.
So men (especially) got encouraged to take certain actions. But intentions color actions the same way intonation colors speech. The root action -- say, taking the girl out to the movies -- might be the same no matter the intention, but the execution of those actions ends up very different; creepy vs. sweet. Then the less-clueful guy mentally reviews, "Hey, I did just the same things as Bob, why am I getting hit with a harassment suit?", and ends up very confused. This is worse for the rules-based mind, since "obviously" there is a clear set of steps that you follow and then the girl puts out -- which I think is the real correlation with Aspergers' / INTJ / whatever.