Transitioning from Nice Guy to nice guy

[brynndragon]

I get the feeling that the defensive reactions demonstrated by some of the comments in my post on the topic of Nice Guys is because people recognized more of themselves than they are comfortable with in the rant I linked to. If you're one of those people, or you got that mildly ill feeling in the pit of your stomach when you read that rant, you might be interested in an essay on becoming a nice guy. I know I found it to be useful. . .

Comments

[water-childe.livejournal.com]

I also think that many women unwittingly 'reinforce' or 'enable' certain forms of 'Nice Guy' behavior, by depending on body language and not stating directly that they are uninterested because of 'not wanting to be perceived as a bitch'. Saying as calmly and politely as possible, "Thanks, but I'm not interested.", is not really all that bitchy IHMO. Using profanity and yelling that you're not interested is usually OTT, and generally is generally uncool. I've done it, but it's something I try not to have to resort to. If I tell someone clearly and directly 'no', more then twice, then I will call in, management, a bouncer, or friends to help me feel safe, and get my point across. But really, don't unwittingly enable bad behavior. Be assertive.
For gods sake, don't resort to fake phone #'s. That's a shitty thing to do, no matter how much so and so is hounding you.

[water-childe.livejournal.com]

Generally is generally? I'm so asleep at the wheel today!