Am I poly?
Aug. 24th, 2001 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brynndragonOr am I just horny?
This is a question that goes through my mind every once in a while. I don't seem to do primary-secondary relationships at all. I either am in love with someone (and all that entails) or not. I will note that I can love people without being in love with them (i.e. dear/intimate friends), but those interactions generally don't possess the structure of a relationship. I will also note that I can be in love with more than one person at a time. I suspect that part of the reason I don't do primary-secondary is something within me balks at the implied hierarchy (my "unfair" light starts blinking).
I am beginning to wonder if poly is merely my excuse for having lots of sex with lots of cute and nifty people, a way to do so without hurting people. My moral system is centered around a single principle: don't hurt people (which is why I get chaotic good on the D&D alignment test :). Beyond that, I will do whatever the hell I want. Apparently I want to have lots of sex with lots of cute nifty people. And while I don't object to multiple loving relationships (i.e. SOs), I don't feel any particular desire for them. Is poly merely a compromise between my need to not hurt people and my inability to keep my pants on?
If that's the case, why don't I just swing? Because I don't want to fuck random people. Not even random cute people (mentally and physically). I want to have sex with people that I care about in some form or fashion, that I have some sort of bond with. I simply have no need or even desire for that bond to have a full relationship structure. I could have skipped out on a hell of a lot of psychodrama if people would just realize that a) just because I want to fuck you doesn't mean I want to go out with you or that I love you and b) just because I want to fuck someone else doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want to be with you. I'll admit, there were times when *I* didn't realize this (well, didn't realize the former at least), but then again, I am a member of the set of "people".
"In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare."
This is a question that goes through my mind every once in a while. I don't seem to do primary-secondary relationships at all. I either am in love with someone (and all that entails) or not. I will note that I can love people without being in love with them (i.e. dear/intimate friends), but those interactions generally don't possess the structure of a relationship. I will also note that I can be in love with more than one person at a time. I suspect that part of the reason I don't do primary-secondary is something within me balks at the implied hierarchy (my "unfair" light starts blinking).
I am beginning to wonder if poly is merely my excuse for having lots of sex with lots of cute and nifty people, a way to do so without hurting people. My moral system is centered around a single principle: don't hurt people (which is why I get chaotic good on the D&D alignment test :). Beyond that, I will do whatever the hell I want. Apparently I want to have lots of sex with lots of cute nifty people. And while I don't object to multiple loving relationships (i.e. SOs), I don't feel any particular desire for them. Is poly merely a compromise between my need to not hurt people and my inability to keep my pants on?
If that's the case, why don't I just swing? Because I don't want to fuck random people. Not even random cute people (mentally and physically). I want to have sex with people that I care about in some form or fashion, that I have some sort of bond with. I simply have no need or even desire for that bond to have a full relationship structure. I could have skipped out on a hell of a lot of psychodrama if people would just realize that a) just because I want to fuck you doesn't mean I want to go out with you or that I love you and b) just because I want to fuck someone else doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want to be with you. I'll admit, there were times when *I* didn't realize this (well, didn't realize the former at least), but then again, I am a member of the set of "people".
"In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare."
