benndragon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
brynndragon) wrote2003-09-26 12:50 pm
brynndragon) wrote2003-09-26 12:50 pm
Child of Seasons
Summary: How seasons relate to interpersonal patterns
I have never noticed before just how much I change with the seasons in terms of personal interactions. Looking back over my life, I can see patterns that follow the year's turning: most break-ups occur in Spring, pretty much always with people who are monogamous or who want me to be less promiscuous (although who does the dumping varies) and I begin to get restless (and sometimes get a feeling of being trapped in whatever situation I find myself in at the time). Summer is a time of exploration, of finding new people and getting involved with them (to one degree or another). Fall is when I stop exploring and set up a winter nesting ground (not always the place where I live, and not always a single location) - sometimes I leave summer people behind at this time. Winter is when I nest with those I have chosen, doing quiet home-type activities and almost no roaming. Come Spring I become restless again, wanting to leave my nest for new sights, new smells. . .
Put simply, my heart takes over in fall and winter, while my pussy runs things in spring and summer. This is a general pattern, not set in stone or anything - I've certainly done my share of exploration at Arisia, for example (although even much of that had a sense of "waiting for fullness"). I've never really noticed this before, possibly because so much of my energy was put into others, possibly because in general I have become far more aware in the past few months (not having a SO does that to me, I guess).
It does indicate a place to be wary: part of me will desperately want a winter-SO (or two), someone(s) to hole up with in the coming months. The more I try to fight it, the worse off I'll feel. How can I reconcile this with my almost desperate need to not be tied down? Can I possibly simply love those whom I already love without feeling a need to take on the role of SO, for the security it seems to provide when the days are dark? It's always a balancing act of one kind or another. . .
I have never noticed before just how much I change with the seasons in terms of personal interactions. Looking back over my life, I can see patterns that follow the year's turning: most break-ups occur in Spring, pretty much always with people who are monogamous or who want me to be less promiscuous (although who does the dumping varies) and I begin to get restless (and sometimes get a feeling of being trapped in whatever situation I find myself in at the time). Summer is a time of exploration, of finding new people and getting involved with them (to one degree or another). Fall is when I stop exploring and set up a winter nesting ground (not always the place where I live, and not always a single location) - sometimes I leave summer people behind at this time. Winter is when I nest with those I have chosen, doing quiet home-type activities and almost no roaming. Come Spring I become restless again, wanting to leave my nest for new sights, new smells. . .
Put simply, my heart takes over in fall and winter, while my pussy runs things in spring and summer. This is a general pattern, not set in stone or anything - I've certainly done my share of exploration at Arisia, for example (although even much of that had a sense of "waiting for fullness"). I've never really noticed this before, possibly because so much of my energy was put into others, possibly because in general I have become far more aware in the past few months (not having a SO does that to me, I guess).
It does indicate a place to be wary: part of me will desperately want a winter-SO (or two), someone(s) to hole up with in the coming months. The more I try to fight it, the worse off I'll feel. How can I reconcile this with my almost desperate need to not be tied down? Can I possibly simply love those whom I already love without feeling a need to take on the role of SO, for the security it seems to provide when the days are dark? It's always a balancing act of one kind or another. . .
no subject
Of course, I'm not entirely sure what "free" means to you poly people, nor what tied down means; if the person behaves as if they have no exclusive claim on your heart, then the only bonds are ones you are making yourself. Or maybe that's a naive perspective.
You're not alone in your summer/winter cycle; there's a reason for songs like The Lusty Month of May. You just seem to have more opportunity to express it than most, for which I'm both slightly saddened and slightly envious. :-P
(no subject)
It's a dirty job, but...