These days, I do do more or less what you're suggesting.
I still think you're being pretty damn insensitive, though, and perhaps not realizing the magnitude of the problem. Verbal expression of finding someone attractive at all can make some people uncomfortable, as far as I can tell. Furthurmore, I resent other people attributing my lack of understanding of all of this in the past to malice rather than ignorance.
It's also problematic when I get third party reports of having made someone uncomfortable, with no details of exactly who I made uncomfortable, even when I ask. Have you ever had people demand that you stop making some unspecified person in some vague large social group uncomfortable by doing some thing which is also not precisely explained to you?
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Date: 2006-03-25 02:49 am (UTC)I still think you're being pretty damn insensitive, though, and perhaps not realizing the magnitude of the problem. Verbal expression of finding someone attractive at all can make some people uncomfortable, as far as I can tell. Furthurmore, I resent other people attributing my lack of understanding of all of this in the past to malice rather than ignorance.
It's also problematic when I get third party reports of having made someone uncomfortable, with no details of exactly who I made uncomfortable, even when I ask. Have you ever had people demand that you stop making some unspecified person in some vague large social group uncomfortable by doing some thing which is also not precisely explained to you?