I think my defensiveness is around the boundary between "being attracted to someone" and "only spending time with them because your trying to get into their pants". I perceive there as being a stereotype out there that's always ready to pounce (:-}) that if I'm attracted to someone then that's the reason (implicitly, the only reason) I'm hanging out with/expressing interest in them. And it's not just fear of that stereotype; I've moderately internalized it, which results in a fair amount of internal second guessing around my own motives. And that sucks.
I think I do ok at avoiding being a "Nice Guy" (tm), but at the cost both of tending to spend *less* time with people I'm attracted to and of not generally expressing attraction when I feel it. Not surprisingly, I'm not completely happy with that balance :-} :-J.
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Date: 2006-03-27 03:50 pm (UTC)I think I do ok at avoiding being a "Nice Guy" (tm), but at the cost both of tending to spend *less* time with people I'm attracted to and of not generally expressing attraction when I feel it. Not surprisingly, I'm not completely happy with that balance :-} :-J.