TSA Special Screening

[brynndragon]

I am canceling my ticket for airplane travel at Christmas. This isn't due to some abstract notion about freedom, but very personal experience with the "special screening" going on at American airports right now.

Last Saturday I flew home via BWI airport. I have no idea why I was given special screening - for all I know it's because I wasn't wearing a pair of purple camo pants for a flight for the first time since the TSA got started (apparently they hide me from TSA agents). But whatever the reason, I was guided away from the metal detector toward the X-ray machine (I didn't parse the initial gesture toward what I now called "the porno tube", so a physical cue was the next step). I walked over to the tube, where I was asked if I had anything in my pockets. Just my ticket and driver's license, which I took out. Before I could show them to the agent I was told to hold my arms up and follow the instruction on the side of the thing. I started reading the instruction as I raised my arms, still holding my ticket and driver's license in one of my hands, but before I could finish them I was told to come out. I started walking out and was told to step back onto a pad for a few seconds. Finally the agent gestured for me to walk over and get my stuff, while saying into a walkie-talkie "young female". I grabbed my stuff, put on my shoes, and headed toward my gate.

I didn't start to get really upset until the night before last. I woke up from a nightmare and rapidly realized it was about, not so much the screening itself, but the fact that I didn't offer any resistance at all. I realized that, when push came to shove, I did not stand up for my body rights, to not have naked pictures taken of me in the porno tube, to not then refuse to let someone sexually assault me in an airport (and how is offering to do this where no one can hear me scream supposed to make me feel better, exactly?). I did not loudly tell the TSA agent not to touch my junk or give the finger while being X-rayed or otherwise object to this horrific invasion of my person, I meekly followed orders as a "young female". I felt so ashamed about being a sheep that I didn't tell anyone about it, because everyone talks about how macho they'd be if it happened to them and here I am, bad-ass biker chik, and I couldn't even say "boo". Even now I'm crying while typing this - my sense of being able to protect myself has been completely shattered in a way that no amount of martial training could ever fix. Furthermore, not only am I a failure as a woman at protecting my body (why hello rape culture, fancy meeting you here), I am a failure as an American - I did not stand up for my freedom in the face of tyranny, even a tyranny as banal as the TSA.

But maybe I can begin to correct the later. I called up Senator Kerry's office and didn't let tears keep me from lodging my complaint with the TSA to the staffer who answered my call (why Kerry and not Brown? Well, Kerry's going to a meeting tomorrow on this very subject). I am going to lodge a formal complaint with the TSA (although "giving me nightmares and making me cry repeatedly" is probably not going to be considered worthy of any attention). I am going to write a letter to Southwest explaining why I'm canceling my holiday travel plans with them, letting them know they're a fine airline (I do like Southwest) but I can not fly while this is going on. I'm writing this post to let people know what happened with me.

Still, it's not enough. I don't so much mind the time TSA took a torch lighter from me, but I will never forgive those assholes for taking away my sense of security. Isn't that what they're supposed to be giving to us?

Comments

[randysmith]

Wow, I'm sorry.

I can't imagine it helps much, but I can so see myself doing the same thing. You can have a lot of images about how you would react in such situations in prospect, but when they actually occur, often that's just not what happens. There's a reason why authority behaves the way it does--it usually works.

I hope the TSA/government gets a clue and scales back on this stuff soon.

[lionofgod.livejournal.com]

Thanks for a brave post. It's a lot harder to talk about when we don't live up to our self-image than when we do. But it's just as important, if not more so. This kind of intrusiveness in the name of "security" is horrific, and worth standing up against. Writing Kerry now.

[samus-aran.livejournal.com]

Jesus. So... I've been getting really emphatically/empathetically pissed about this screening the more and more I keep hearing about it, and I decided a while ago that this makes me *really* angry, and that I am willing to get arrested for it.

...that said, I'd probably be in the same position you're in now if it had been me, and ... well that's just making me feel 28 different kinds of fucked up. I can't even imagine how you feel.

So um... Hi. Do you want me to come over? Because I am there. Just say the word.

[evan712.livejournal.com]

That sucks. I hate 90% of what TSA does. A friend of mine just posted this article which lays out a much smarter way... one that is proven to work in the real world.

FWIW I've passed to the word on as well and really encouraged my friends in Florida to call, because both of their senators are on that committee.

[tenderpaw.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that, yet appreciate you sharing your experience to help others be more aware of it.

We have a trip to and from BWI scheduled for January; I hope we aren't subjected to this sort of inappropriate indignity. I only heard about the new scanning methods today, and am still somewhat shocked at how this reality has come to pass.

I shudder to think of how horrible this could be for transvestite or transgendered individuals.

[unseelie.livejournal.com]

sue?
ie: find a lawyer?
Find a therapist to make it official that you have PTSD/emotional distress?

Ok, that said.
*hug offered*

look, Your defense mechanisms did not kick in because at no point did you feel threatened. the TSA I am willing to bet, has spent money on classes to teach their drones how to act non confrontational and mellow to minimize the stress/anxiety/fight or Flight reactions among passengers.

Be easier on yourself. We are all our own worst critics.

"I'm a tough biker chik, etc, etc"
ok, Biker Chick; what happens if you, say, ACTED like a Tough Biker Chick(tm): you flip the person off, you don't quietly go stand in the pornTube(TM); and you get what....
a $10,000 fine for interfering with the safe conduct of travel, maced, and never get where you were going.

there is a time and a place for all things.
This was neither.
THIS is the time for noisy protests, phone calls and faxes to government people, and violent overthrow of the gov... er.... no, scratch that last one.

B; I have a lot of love, and trust and faith in you.
I also know that you have a nasty tendency to cut yourself emotionally.
I love you anyway. This is not the time to hurt yourself worse.
let go of the knife that cuts yourself. You are loved...

[lawbard.livejournal.com]

Screw. Them. To. The. Wall.

I agree with Unseelie, but no one should end up feeling that way and having nightmares after passing through a security checkpoint. Not in this country.

(I can't cancel my own flight this season, since its family initiated, but you've given me something to think about when I get to Logan...and something to do tomorrow.)

[jim-p.livejournal.com]

So sorry you had to go through this (hug!). Kudos for having the guts to call Kerry's office, difficult as it was.

The TSA counts on the fact that most people just want to get it over with and not miss their flights. "It's just one more hoop for the terroristspassengers to jump through. They've jumped through every one we've set up before, what's one more?" I'm happy to see that they've FINALLY gone so far that people are saying "ENOUGH!", but I'm dismayed that it had to go this far in the first place.

I wonder if the same folks who think government can't be trusted with our healthcare think that they CAN be trusted to feel us up?

[squibbon.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that that happened to you. Unfortunately, we often don't get to choose consciously and with full awareness how our minds and bodies decide to try to protect themselves. They get it right more often than not, but sometimes our instincts don't work the way we later wish they did especially in situations that don't read the way that we expect violence to. That's true of everyone on the planet. It doesn't mean that you aren't brave, tough, smart, and capable. Because you are. It means that your instincts were led astray by a situation that was very carefully constructed to do just that.

I know we don't really hang out and I don't know you that well offline these days but I consider you to be someone worth going above and beyond for. If there's anything I can do please let me know.

[cos]

Ugh :(

[swashbucklr]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Everything I've read and heard makes it sound like an extremely dehumanizing experience, and makes me glad I drove to DC instead of flying.

I hope something good comes of this.

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

I signed a petition. I emailed my senator (also on the committee). I should probably call too but I was thinking of it now and noone would be there.

I've flown 5 times in the past 2 months and not seen the new scanners yet... I have a flight home next Tuesday. I've been practicing in my head asking for my groping please, just in case. I hope it works! The practicing I mean.

[laurion]

Even I don't have pictures of you naked. Why should the government get them?

[regyt.livejournal.com]

I'm appalled by all of this. And if it's any comfort, I like to think of myself as all tough and badass, but I strongly suspect that if push came to shove I'd be the good meek citizen and angry at myself afterwards, too.