TSA Special Screening

[brynndragon]

I am canceling my ticket for airplane travel at Christmas. This isn't due to some abstract notion about freedom, but very personal experience with the "special screening" going on at American airports right now.

Last Saturday I flew home via BWI airport. I have no idea why I was given special screening - for all I know it's because I wasn't wearing a pair of purple camo pants for a flight for the first time since the TSA got started (apparently they hide me from TSA agents). But whatever the reason, I was guided away from the metal detector toward the X-ray machine (I didn't parse the initial gesture toward what I now called "the porno tube", so a physical cue was the next step). I walked over to the tube, where I was asked if I had anything in my pockets. Just my ticket and driver's license, which I took out. Before I could show them to the agent I was told to hold my arms up and follow the instruction on the side of the thing. I started reading the instruction as I raised my arms, still holding my ticket and driver's license in one of my hands, but before I could finish them I was told to come out. I started walking out and was told to step back onto a pad for a few seconds. Finally the agent gestured for me to walk over and get my stuff, while saying into a walkie-talkie "young female". I grabbed my stuff, put on my shoes, and headed toward my gate.

I didn't start to get really upset until the night before last. I woke up from a nightmare and rapidly realized it was about, not so much the screening itself, but the fact that I didn't offer any resistance at all. I realized that, when push came to shove, I did not stand up for my body rights, to not have naked pictures taken of me in the porno tube, to not then refuse to let someone sexually assault me in an airport (and how is offering to do this where no one can hear me scream supposed to make me feel better, exactly?). I did not loudly tell the TSA agent not to touch my junk or give the finger while being X-rayed or otherwise object to this horrific invasion of my person, I meekly followed orders as a "young female". I felt so ashamed about being a sheep that I didn't tell anyone about it, because everyone talks about how macho they'd be if it happened to them and here I am, bad-ass biker chik, and I couldn't even say "boo". Even now I'm crying while typing this - my sense of being able to protect myself has been completely shattered in a way that no amount of martial training could ever fix. Furthermore, not only am I a failure as a woman at protecting my body (why hello rape culture, fancy meeting you here), I am a failure as an American - I did not stand up for my freedom in the face of tyranny, even a tyranny as banal as the TSA.

But maybe I can begin to correct the later. I called up Senator Kerry's office and didn't let tears keep me from lodging my complaint with the TSA to the staffer who answered my call (why Kerry and not Brown? Well, Kerry's going to a meeting tomorrow on this very subject). I am going to lodge a formal complaint with the TSA (although "giving me nightmares and making me cry repeatedly" is probably not going to be considered worthy of any attention). I am going to write a letter to Southwest explaining why I'm canceling my holiday travel plans with them, letting them know they're a fine airline (I do like Southwest) but I can not fly while this is going on. I'm writing this post to let people know what happened with me.

Still, it's not enough. I don't so much mind the time TSA took a torch lighter from me, but I will never forgive those assholes for taking away my sense of security. Isn't that what they're supposed to be giving to us?

Comments

[benndragon.livejournal.com]

It's weird because I'd thought at plans and things I would do if it came down to it, but there never was a moment to consider - they just pushed me through as fast as possible. It wasn't about screening me for explosives, it was about the show, about training me to comply. But I think. . . they actually did just the opposite. I think the nightmares and the crying jags undid any compliance training they might have been doing and instead pushed me in the opposite direction. It has primed my lizard brain to parse this "special screening" as a threat. Next time I will shout and fight tooth and nail, or curl into a little ball crying and screaming "No!" repeatedly right in front of the metal detector and pr0ntube, or otherwise do something rather extreme that will result in me not only missing my flight but also getting arrested and/or fined. So yea, no more airline travel for me until we start doing screening like a bunch of goddamn adults.