In your case, since you don't get non-verbal cues, you'll need to use your verbal skills a lot more frequently. It sucks, it's annoying, but if you want to be responsible for your actions rather than fobbing them off on a social disorder it's something you'll need to do. In the end, it boils down to do you feel bad if your actions have made someone uncomfortable and take steps to try to see that future actions don't make them or someone else uncomfortable (it'd be nice if the first bit automatically lead to the second bit, but it doesn't). If you do, then you're a nice guy, but if you don't you're heading towards Nice Guy territory. This is part of why asking is important even if you don't get a clear answer - even if the answer isn't clear you at least communicate *your* intent, which fulfills your responsibility. It's all about respecting and treating another person as a human being. Not a sex toy, not a goddess, but a human being.
BTW, if the answer to "does this make you uncomfortable" (or a variant on that theme) isn't clear, treat it as if the answer was "yes". You'll save yourself a lot of grief that way.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 06:14 pm (UTC)BTW, if the answer to "does this make you uncomfortable" (or a variant on that theme) isn't clear, treat it as if the answer was "yes". You'll save yourself a lot of grief that way.