You're a genuinely good guy. Falling into the trap of falling for a friend (and the resulting weirdity) is nowhere near the same thing as setting yourself up in such a situation deliberately because you're Nice.
Still, it's good to read the essay as "behaviors to avoid".
Probably not, you don't strike me as that kind of masochist ;P.
That's not the same as doing it unconsciously, possibly to assist in maintaining some sort of defense system (if you're not dating, you'll never get dumped). But that's one of those things you can only determine through introspection and self-work, and it's not a simple process. First you need to figure out if that's what's going, and if so then you need to figure out what twisted logic lead to the defense system's creation. Then you need to reprogram the twisted logic into untwisted logic wherein falling for people who don't fall for you is no longer useful (thankfully that usually clears up the problem by itself).
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brynndragon
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Date: 2006-03-27 06:45 pm (UTC)Still, it's good to read the essay as "behaviors to avoid".
re: falling for falling into the falling trap
Date: 2006-03-27 09:48 pm (UTC)Re: falling for falling into the falling trap
Date: 2006-03-27 09:54 pm (UTC)That's not the same as doing it unconsciously, possibly to assist in maintaining some sort of defense system (if you're not dating, you'll never get dumped). But that's one of those things you can only determine through introspection and self-work, and it's not a simple process. First you need to figure out if that's what's going, and if so then you need to figure out what twisted logic lead to the defense system's creation. Then you need to reprogram the twisted logic into untwisted logic wherein falling for people who don't fall for you is no longer useful (thankfully that usually clears up the problem by itself).