Random Thoughts

[brynndragon]

You know, I would like to be a dad someday, but I don't think I would enjoy being a mom. However, I don't think I'd have much choice in the matter. So not so much with having kids, unless I end up with someone who actively wants to do the mom thing.

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Comments

[catya.livejournal.com]

By "Dad" do you mean "non-primary parent" ? :) Or something else?

Personally, I'm happy with being the primary parent, but really cranky when i am / feel like i am the the ONLY active parent. I totally get the advantages of the non-primary parent role though.

[benndragon.livejournal.com]

I'm still at the intuition-level of understanding, so I'm lacking words to really explain it right now. But I think "non-primary parent" is pretty close if not spot-on. My own mom stayed at home and has been a daycare mom since I was 1, while my dad had various positions with a baseline of "must be enough to be able to take care of my family" but otherwise were whatever satisfied him. He spent a bunch of time with me and my brother but he got to follow his dreams to a far greater degree than my mom has been able to do. So I want to get to do what he did, rather than be stuck with what my mom has had to do.

Which makes me note that I don't think I could make the dad role stick unless I had a partner who was actively engaging in the mom role. I would feel like I had to do it if they failed to do so, and my resentment of everything would just go through the roof. Thankfully I'm pretty OK with not having kids at all unless I was absolutely sure of my partner's ability and inclination to do the mom thing, so hopefully no one has to be raised by a resentful Brynn ;P.